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I’m a Detective NOT Defective …

Written by RSS Poster Constable Chaos - UK Police Blog on the 15th December 2015 at 21:45 - Posted in Police Blogs

This blog was written in March 2014 by a detective who describes her experience of depression and posted on the Avon & Somerset police website. The author has subsequently kindly given permission for it to be reposted here in the interests of further highlighting the problem of depression and related mental ill health as it affect members of the police family and hopefully offering some small amount of support and/or guidance for those in need a a little help or assistance. She talks about her...
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Green Hair and Blue Cheese

Written by RSS Poster Constable Chaos - UK Police Blog on the 14th November 2015 at 20:39 - Posted in Police Blogs

Did I tell you I own this great company ? We are … without a doubt … the world’s finest manufacturer of high quality WidgetWangles (we’ve patented, trademarked and copyrighted that name by the way so no getting any ideas !!) Our WidgetWangles are better, more robust, longer lasting and better value than any comparable product on the market … and business has been so great that we are expanding beyond all belief. We now need more people to come and join us; quality people; only the best...
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Who knows best ??

Written by RSS Poster Constable Chaos - UK Police Blog on the 24th October 2015 at 19:45 - Posted in Police Blogs

This article has been re-blogged with permission from the site of Jeffrey Harris, Deputy Police & Crime Commissioner for Surrey. Why on earth am I posting something like this you may ask …. well, simply because it’s 100% on the ball … Policing as we know it in England & Wales faces its biggest threat ever … The ONLY way to get the message to the public about what is happening to a public service, and let’s be frank here, they pay for, is to shout loudly, continually,...
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A response to Constable Chaos’ blog post on Football Policing

Written by RSS Poster Constable Chaos - UK Police Blog on the 23rd August 2015 at 18:23 - Posted in Police Blogs

A response & alternative view to my ‘Football Crazy’ blog by Alison Gurden, Social Justice Barrister Last week Twitter’s laughing policeman, Constable Chaos posted his own impressions on his day of football policing Football Crazy . I have reblogged this below. While I can’t dispute what he says, because I wasn’t with him, his experience doesn’t reflect mine, nor the majority of police officers I speak to and who police football matches. Most of his gripes seem to relate...
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Football Crazy

Written by RSS Poster Constable Chaos - UK Police Blog on the 11th August 2015 at 5:41 - Posted in Police Blogs

It’s that time of year, now that’ summer’s in the air When 22 wet gits, with their girly curly hair Kick a ball about, for 90 minutes, sometimes more And then cry to mummy, when they fall down on the floor Ohh the rugby players, with their arms and legs all hanging off, Laugh and call them names, cos a hair is out of place They make millions each year but should get some proper jobs, And a number of their fans are a bunch of smelly yobs. (With apologies to any Spitting Image fans … ohh and...
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Rural areas pay the price of police cuts

Written by RSS Poster Constable Chaos - UK Police Blog on the 01st August 2015 at 20:57 - Posted in Police Blogs

Guest blog by Mike Pannett It’s no surprise that in the recent National Rural Crime Survey nearly two-thirds of respondents thought that the police weren’t doing a good job and felt less safe as a result. Government soundbites say the police “must do more with less”. The “less” refers to less funding, but the truth is it actually means fewer police officers. More than 12,000 front-line officers in fact, with at least another 15,000 to go over the next two years. That’s on top of 35,000...
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We ain’t in Kansas now Toto

Written by RSS Poster Constable Chaos - UK Police Blog on the 30th July 2015 at 21:39 - Posted in Police Blogs

I’ve just read a blog post on an American police related website. The story, as the site tells us all of the articles on it are, is satire. No more, no less. Sounds a bit like my site actually. the problem with this particular blog post is that the more you read it, the more it actually begins to sound like the sort of policing scenario we are allowing ourselves to fall into this side of the pond. It sort of goes along this theme … Police departments across the country are pulling patrol officers...
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Staples and Sticky Tape

Written by RSS Poster Constable Chaos - UK Police Blog on the 19th July 2015 at 22:36 - Posted in Police Blogs

We live in austere times you know. Thought I’d just mention that in case you’d been living down a remote Peak District cave for the past half decade and hadn’t heard. The last few years have been cut this, cut that, cut the other – not just in policing, but in all the essential emergency and public services. It may appear somewhat perverse or at odds to simple folk like you and me, that an immense amount of money has been spent in the last few years telling us how to cut costs and save money...
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Love Thy Neighbour

Written by RSS Poster Constable Chaos - UK Police Blog on the 04th July 2015 at 22:47 - Posted in Police Blogs

“My neighbours blocking the path again, why don’t you lot f***in’ ever do anything about it ? …. If you don’t sort it, I’ll f**in’ sort it myself !!!” And so began the opening gambit to yet another call to police (on 999 of course !!) regarding neighbourhood disputes. Don’t get me wrong, in many cases, problems between neighbours have festered for a very long time and evolved into some pretty serious situations, with lives literally being made hell by one person or family who is...
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Holding Out For A (Real) Hero

Written by RSS Poster Constable Chaos - UK Police Blog on the 20th June 2015 at 14:26 - Posted in Police Blogs

Cue the music …. “Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the …” hold on a minute, ain’t that a tad sexist these days … why can only men be heroes ?? Anyway, moving on quickly. Picture the scene; you’re on holiday at the beach with your partner and kids, when suddenly you become aware of a commotion a few hundred metres off shore. Along with half the rest of the beachgoers, you jump up and start looking out into the now choppy waves and can see two youngish kids on an...
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